Ugh....One of those days... Caturday Cafe Bangkok, Thailand

Ugh….One of those days…
Caturday Cafe Bangkok, Thailand

It sounds ungrateful to say anything negative about my life.  After all, I live two blocks from the Caribbean, my rent is one/sixth of what I use to pay in the USA and my lifestyle is full of freedom.  However, I like to give an honest opinion of what it feels like to live a nomadic life.  It is not always endless drinks at the beach or romantic sunsets.  There is a lot more to this story or this lifestyle.

The nomadic blues hits all of us in one way or another.  We are surrounded by beauty no matter where we go but we are also surrounded by emotions that surface when we least expect it.  Perhaps we see a couple holding hands along the Seine in Paris.  Other times we may notice the new bride getting her professional pics taken along the banks of Venice.  All of these triggers remind us that we are somehow alone in this great big beautiful world.

The nomadic blues surfaces when our old belief system meets the new one that we have not yet defined for ourselves.  We are told that by a certain age we should be married, have a mortgage that has locked us in for 30 years, and kids that we are working hard for.  What happens to your mind when you do not have any of those things?  That part of you that comes from that predictable world is now face to face with this new world we have created for ourselves and we are being judged.  The irony is that it does not matter who is judging us from the outside when in reality we are in a battle between our older selves and our present selves and we are not quite sure what our future selves  will look like.  It sounds exhausting doesn´t it?

Piazza San Marco is still beautiful even when you see it by yourself.

Piazza San Marco is still beautiful even when you see it by yourself.

How do I get over it sort of speak?  I fully acknowledge my feelings and I do not follow this dogma of thinking that all is well with me all of the time.  I do not think that is possible with anyone nomadic or not.  I have my moments where I cry myself to sleep.  I have my moments where I turn off the phone and do not wish to hear from anyone because I am focused on my writing and my work.  The irony is that the job itself requires isolation and concentration but it is this same solitude that creates a plethora of other emotions.  I am in a constant state of letting go and creating anew.  These feelings do not end anywhere and there is not some point in the future that I will no longer feel this way.  It is all a part of the journey.

I have also come to realize that we ALL feel this way at one point or another.  You do not have to be a nomad to feel lonely, have feelings of isolation, or feel sad at times when there is so much to be grateful for.  You can be married with the house and the kids and still feel all of these transient emotions.  I remind myself that while my surroundings are different, that my internal life  will always follow me no matter where I go.   The best way to beat these nomad blues is to remind myself that I have a wonderful life free from a lot of the previous walls that I use to live in.  

Freedom from false beliefs and expectations.

Cesky Krumlov, Czech Republic. Freedom from learned beliefs and expectations.

I have the privilege of getting up in the morning in my pajamas and being able to work from anywhere there is an internet connection.  I have the blessing of being able to meet people from all over the world and being able to share memorable times with them.  I almost feel like I should not have a right to say anything negative about my life because I have created this.  I made this happen.  It isn´t always picture perfect but it is my life and we all have the ability to make the changes within ourselves to create a reality that works for us.   The nomadic blues only remind me that I am human and we all desire companionship at times, love, affection, and sex.  That does not make me ungrateful.  I AM simply human after all and remind myself that my negative emotions are just as valid as my positive one´s.  I just ride the wave of sadness because I am 100% sure that another wave of spectacular moments are about to be created:)

Sometimes the BEST moments are unplanned:) Playa del Carmen, Mexico

Sometimes the BEST moments are unplanned:)
Playa del Carmen, Mexico